Sunday, June 15, 2008

Father's Day rocks when your kid is way cool.

I'm not sure how or when exactly it happened. My daughter is afraid of the stove, and doing anything that might involve the stove, i.e. cooking. She uses the oven, but for the stove top there is a fear of getting burned. If I could instill the same fear in her about boys, and booze, and all the things parents worry about their kids following in their footsteps, parenting would be a breeze. Well once again "instant bacon" (review coming soon) to the rescue, I awoke to the delectable scent of "BiB" or "bacon in bed". Nothing better than smelling your favorite food to wake you up and opening your eyes and seeing your favorite person. I should note that my daughter is a vegetarian, and not one of those, "I'm a vegetarian, but I eat fish." vegetarians. There is a another name for those types of vegetarians, "liars". She has been a non-meat eater from birth, so her bacon prep experience, including this morning, is a total of 1 time. She nailed it! Great start to a great day, I give her the full five out of five strips rating.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Next vacation? Thats right.. Pittsburgh!

I have been to Pittsburgh once, for some dear friend's wedding. I have a very cool friend that lives there. The Steelers play there. The Carnegie museums including the Warhol one would be awesome to visit. And yet you might think even with all those excellent reasons, vacation in Pittsburgh?!?

Ya know how sometimes you are looking for one thing on the net and you stumble upon a little golden nugget that makes you think "Wow, this is so cool, what did we do before all those tubes attached to the net?" Well.... to be honest, I am always looking for bacon, and its bacon that I find, so that analogy is crap. But I have heard that it happens like that. And if you have had an experience like that, you are welcome. I worked for the first commercial internet provider, ever. All your base are belong to my friend that started that company, I remember we were enjoying a nice gopher search when one day we tried out this new world wide web thing that was gonna link computers all over the world and make them like a Macintosh hypercard stack. We browsed the whole web, all of it, in under an hour. If not for my friends keen sense to get into the 'net biz first, and even keener sense to fire me... who knows you may have never been able to read this post. O.k. sure, someone else would have brought it to you, and nothing would be all that different, but it was fun to see it from the beginning, even if I can't take credit for it.

Well anyway, back to the town with three hard to pronounce rivers. This is an idea that Jason and I had EXACTLY! There is a bar, that on Tuesday's after happy hour, provides free bacon til close. DID YOU HEAR ME?!?!?! FREE BACON!!! Holy crap its Bacon Night!!! Harris Grill in Pittsburgh totally beat us to the punch. Okay so our idea was a cup of bacon not a paper fry tray thing, and sure our idea was they should have at movie theaters.... for sale... not free.... but its the same idea I'm telling you. I love California, but free bacon night, that would NEVER happen here, and that makes me a little sad, and long for a place that the beers flow easy and the bacon is free.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Baconator - Go on, obsess a little

Oh how I want to like the Baconator. In theory what is not to like? Look at that picture, the "TBL" or tasty bacon layer is thicker than the burger layer!!! Everyone knows that fast food doesn't look like the picture, and I ask why as a society do we accept this? If I buy a blue car and the dealer brings it around front and its actually orange, I don't go "oh well I guess it looks different than when I ordered it." and drive away. How have we become so complacent that it is generally accepted, pictures of the food we are ordering are not a valid representation of what we are actually going to get? It false advertising at its very core, unacceptable in any other instance, yet fine and dandy, and not just accepted but expected, when it comes to food. I'm sure there is somebody to throw the blame on at the FDA or the FCC or some sort of corrupt government agency. But this is not a rant about false advertising, well, not just that anyway, this is a rant about the Baconator! The name, "Baconator" a blend of bacon (yum) and I am guessing terminator, as in the relentless killing machine that will stop at nothing if you are John Connor. (I am assuming that if your name is John Connor this sandwich immediately kills you and Wendy's took that into account as an acceptable loss of customer base.) Baconator, so much bacon it will kill you, thats what springs to mind when I hear the word, and I am assuming that is exactly what the idiots at Wendy's were hoping for. Someone over there knows about our underground bacon movement, you have seen it in other adds the Taco Bell Bacon Chalupa in the purse ad for example. Some one knows we are just like the dog in that commercial. So they build up this "ultimate" bacon burger, give it a catchy name and raise the price and watch the $$ roll in. The only problem is they have failed to instruct the restaurants to actually build the damn thing! I have tried 3 different Wendy's on more than one occasion each, and let me say this, they are consistent, consistently sucky!!! If you are gonna advertise the bacon, and charge for the bacon, well then by god deliver the bacon! Taking 3 strips of bacon (if you are lucky its three) and cutting them in half to make six, does NOT equal "TBL"! On all but one attempt I had to go looking for the bacon. John Connor didn't go looking for the terminator, he was always running from that guy. The only time I didn't have to go looking was simply because the sandwich top had slid off due to the insane amounts of ketchup this thing was doused in. Is all the red ketchup supposed to fool us into thinking that there is a lot of red bacon in there too? I mean these babies are swimming in the stuff, if you were to take a ketchup packet and empty it out that is about 1/4 of the ketchup on the Baconator. I can appreciate that bacon is a heavenly meat and the instinct to horde it is natural. But you are selling a sandwich that is supposed to kill me with its "TBL" well then gimme the damn bacon!!! I am paying extra for it, what the hell?!?!? Quit bogarting the bacon and replacing it with ketchup, thinking we won't notice, we do. Like GW said fool me once, shame on, shame on you, but fool me, cant get fooled again. So like the Connors, run, run far away from Wendy's, the Baconator is here to kill you, not with a TBL, but with lies and ketchup. You are better of getting the instant bacon (review coming soon). The lying liars of Wendy's get zero strips for their nice idea, that like skynet, is pure fiction.