Monday, August 18, 2008

Bacon Domain Week!

I am a self professed nerd, geek, dork, what have you; I don't think I will get any argument from anyone, after all I write a blog about bacon for christsake. I was bragging to my girlfriend about how I had a lot of domains as that is some sort of nerd mating ritual maneuver ( I think, I may be too much of a geek to know for sure). Well long story short, she pwn'd me and my paltry number of domains. I only bring this up as it was part of the inspiration for (cue trumpet blaring, or better yet the sound of bacon sizzling here) "Bacon Domain Week!!!

The idea being each day I would register a bunch of new bacon related domains, and then down the road develop each of those domains into a multimillion dollar empire of cash and bacon.. mwhhahahaha! (that's my semi-demonic maniacal laugh, its very impressive in person but does not translate well to the written word, but trust me, it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, or at a minimum, gets strange looks).

Now I could stretch this baby out into a weeks worth of posts, one each day, all sorts of witty bacon comentary on each one providing all 3 of our RSS subscribers endless amounts of entertainment. But.... Its all going into this one post, for two reasons. 1) I'm lazy, you saw the post recently about blogging taking up a lot of time, well I got a window tonight, this is it. 2) There is a certain someone perhaps two someones who stated that if the post is more than a couple paragraphs in length they simply will not read it. And who said the MTV generation has a short attention... what was I talking about again? Well this figures to be too long for the friends with a disdain for words, and guys if you did get this far, I intend to ramble further just jump out now. :)

I should mention that our uber-admin extraordinaire was very helpful in taking time out from more important things to register each of these silly domains, or as he calls them the "tocino dominios".

Monday started out full of hope and I think with the intent of spending some of the 10's of thousandths of cents this blog generates on maybe a hundred bacon domains. Then reality set in, a lot of the really good ideas were already taken. In fact one of my first choices was which turns out to be a "baco-blog" already. So I added that to my bacon scented RSS reader and resumed our quest for one hundred bacon domains. I checked my account balance, did some number crunching, projected the ROI from this little whim of internet bacon domain domination, and made the command decision; one domain a day for the work week was probably overkill, but what the heck 5 is a semi round number, as well as the top bacon strip rating here at LoB, so with the goal being set it was into the think tank of bacon grease to come up with the ultimate 5 bacon domains. I would like to say that we achieved success in finding the 5 greatest bacon domains ever thought of, when in reality, we wound up covered in bacon fat and smelling good enough to lick for like 2 weeks. Monday's domain is a pretty good one, possibly one of my favorite from the week; its descriptive, you know what you are getting right from the domain name. I mean, really isn't it all about the bacon? Just saying.

So on Tuesday, it was feeling lonely in the old shop, lots of empty cubes, former spots filled with the friends and comrades that once worked in our department. I thought about 'tipping the 40' for our friends, but since the very presence of alcohol at work would be a cause for immediate dismissal, I decided to toast them with bacon. As I sat there with some fresh hot "instant bacon" (review coming soon) and thinking about all the people that were missing out on its smokey aroma because they are all now employed over at Tom's space, Tuesday's domain came to me, an applewood smoked domain that represents a little love for the homies, One day it too will be the 2nd largest site of its kind; a bacon social network, where bacoterians can meet, post oddly angled pictures of their favorite bacons, and wonder if they are the only person on the site over the age of sixteen.

Wednesday was push day, like there is a schedule that is followed or something, not sure if it was classic or code flavored like water but didnt have a lot of time to think of domains. Fortunately, while working with this drummer that moonlights as a change management engineer, we were discussing bacon..... I know duh! He mentions "Bacon is awesome!" again I know... duh! Would you believe that wasn't registered?!? I didn't...but it is now. Three down and two to go. I was thinking we gotta really nail it on Friday, ya know, save the best for last? Well if my ADD friends by some miracle are still with me, feel free to wander over to /. as its really just more of the same for the next couple of paragraphs.

Thursday, I am not sure what was on my mind. I dunno if it was the Adam Sandler sketch about weight lifting or the fact I was trying to figure out what makes my saliva glands kick into over drive more, bacon or my girlfriend. But I envision either some sort of advice page or perhaps funny situations where the answers to the issue boil down to either bacon or sex. Not sure on the presentation yet, but really are there any two greater forces that can drive ones decisions? Like the old angel on one shoulder and devil on the other, except on one its smokey delicious bacon, and the other, your significant other calling you to bed, or the couch or kitchen counter...... hey I don't judge, whatever your thing is...rock on! Anyway becomes Thursday's domain, and I can literally hear the uber-admin's eyes rolling right through the gtalk window.

Thank Bacon It's Friday! This one seemed a little anti-climactic, but it is very simple. In math when you factor a number several times you say x the nth power, well what if you took bacon to the power of bacon. Yes I realize that bacon is not your normal math or algebraic type of equation, ya know since its not a number and all, and even though you can spell it with some letters, I am not sure there is a mathematical symbol that represents bacon, although I am still not sure that the ~ tilde is not secretly a bacon symbol in disguise. What with math all up in my head on Friday, I know, you all get all mathy on Fridays too right?? No?? Anyway, I was thinking of bacon equations and ways to turn those into domain names and well, they were all long and they sucked. I simply started thinking of bacon dotcom type names a single bacon was of course taken and parked waiting for someone to come along and snatch it up at what I am sure is a fair price...yeah right. Two bacons or baconbacon, also parked. Three bacons or baconbaconbacon redirects to a microwave bacon tray, wow. (Maybe we should review that here? hmmm.) So next up was thats right 4!!!! bacons, or as I like to think of it as bacon times bacon times bacon to the power of bacon. Damn thats alot of bacon, give me a sec, I need to grab a quick bite of bacon.......... ahhhhh much better! Well that was the last of the domains for (cue trumpet blaring, or better yet the sound of bacon sizzling here) "Bacon Domain Week"!!! I like em all, they make me happy. I barely find time to blog, but I am sure I will find time to develop these babies into some righteous bacon domain website goodness.

Have a suggestion for what would make these tasty bacon domains cool? Leave a comment and let us know, I doubt we will do anything with the suggestions, but we might toast the best ones with some bacon. And I know a few people will be making a certain suggestion, and trust me you can NOT place a domain name into any orifice of ones body.


Anonymous said...

yo dr bacon, check out this flickr group. "I love bacon"

Jill said...

Sizzling, succulent, and savory, ....I'm talking about my Bacon Chris...oh yeah, and bacon too!