Monday, May 26, 2008

Cracker Barrel Bacon and the New Age Vortex

Ahh the great American road trip! Bottles of dew and jerky, and that odd "been in the car a little too long" scent that says, "Thats right baby I am free and on the road.. no.. as a matter of fact I do NOT live in my car" Not sure if its just a guy thing, but I've never see a group of girls piling into a car and driving for hours just cuz its fun. There was a time in my life where the open road with a cassette in the tape deck blaring and the promise of beer on a Sunday just across the state line was all one needed for a good time. I am here to tell you this is a young man's folly. Sure the cassette was replaced with an iPod and the bottle of dew gave way to an "energy drink" and well perhaps the length of the road trip may have been a little too ambitious. I am still numb in some of my parts. In less than 36 hours we drove over 1100 miles, drank some whiskey and had our socks rocked off, not a bad way to kill a weekend, if I was younger. I wish I could say I had something better to do, but alas, some things never change.

Destination: Sedona, home of new agey types that love their sex stones (aka 'fuckin rocks') and there positive vibration vortexes. There are artistes aplenty as well as some pretty spectacular views, if you are into that sort of thing. But this was no reason to drive nearly 600 miles in a day. Now good rock-n-roll, thats a whole other matter! I have a few friends I haven't seen in a while and they gots themselves this little rock and roll outfit. Now if you think the type of crowd you might expect to find in Sedona wouldn't exactly be the same type of crowd you might expect to enjoy some kick ass rock and roll, you would be correct. At one point the management of the bar was asked to have the band "turn it down a little", apparently they were waking people up at a nearby hotel. Rock and fucking roll baby!!! Show was great, we discussed bacon among other things afterward, good times.

So the morning after, you realize, wow, now we gotta go all the way back......whose dumb idea was this anyway?? Wait a second... didn't we pass like 4 or 5 Cracker Barrel Restaurants on the way here? You can't get that in California, so off we went, only 90 minutes to the closest one. Sunday morning at the Cracker Barrel off Deer Valley and I-17 is like some sort patience exercise that I wanted no part of, I have seen shorter lines at Hollywood clubs. Seriously, don't these people have something better to do on a Sunday morning besides stand between me and my bacon? Fortunately location was a non issue for a couple of road warriors such as us and the next location was near Sun City; at 11 am those old folks had already had breakfast and lunch and were at home taking a nap before supper time. No real line or wait, whoo-hoo!! Cracker Barrel is a "country cooking", serve breakfast all day, type of joint. Its also a, we got tons of over priced "kitsch" in our "country store", that you have to navigate through when you pay in order to get out of there, but thats a whole other rant. For all its setup, I was expecting a good bacon experience. Ya know when you go someplace and you get the bacon, these two flimsy strips come out with your plate and you are left wondering, "WTF?!"? Well not at Cracker Barrel the standard is 4 big meaty strips, and they are thick too! I was not disappointed, and the fact I had ordered an extra side of bacon, "just in case" was well, a stroke of genius, because now I had twice as much of this good stuff. Flavor was rich and meaty, meat to fat ratio was about standard, and the preperation was just right, a lil crispy but still chewy. I ate my fill and for the next 9 hours I was thinking, "Man that was some tasty bacon....are we there yet?!"

3 out of 5 strips and an extra half for the generous portions.

No comments: